6 Ways To Combat Imposter Syndrome
One evening after work, I sat pouring over my newly updated resume, checking for typos and proofreading.
This was my first time updating my resume in over five years, and as I proofread I thought myself “Wow, I have a lot of really amazing experience.” This wasn’t my ego speaking; instead, it was almost as if I was reviewing someone else’s resume.
The next day didn’t go so well at work. A conference call with a difficult client sent my day into a redesign tailspin. I had a pile of urgent shop drawings on my desk that I hadn’t finished, and a phone message — left during the conference call — from a contractor requesting a status update on said shop drawings.
I left the office that evening feeling like I’d gotten nothing done that day except to put out fires.
After dinner and putting the kids to bed, I finished checking one of the shop drawings I had brought home with me. Afterward, I pulled out the resume so I could start a draft of my cover letter to accompany it. I sat at our dining room table, looked at my resume, and thought to myself:
“Who is this person who has this amazing resume? I know this is all true…….but I feel like this can’t be me, that even though it says it’s me who has done these things, I’m just not good enough to apply for this higher-level position.”
Imposter syndrome strikes again!
WHAT IS IMPOSTER SYNDROME?
Imposter syndrome is a feeling that you don’t belong and don’t deserve to be here. You feel like a fraud or an imposter, similar to my feelings when I reviewed my own resume.
Imposter syndrome is common among high-achievers, and even more common among high-achieving minority groups such as women in male-dominated fields. Studies suggest that this is partially due to the impossibly high expectations high-achievers set for themselves, as I shared in this previous blog on confidence.
The term “Imposter Syndrome” was originally coined in 1978 by psychotherapists Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes when they found that many women with notable achievements also had high levels of self-doubt.
Imposter syndrome isn’t just limited to women, however.
One study of UK millennials found that a full 40 percent of female and 22 percent of male millennials reported feeling like an imposter. Another study in the International Journal of Behavioral Sciences reported that 70 percent of people studied have felt this way at some point during their careers.
While it seems like imposter syndrome would “go away” with more confidence and experience, that hasn’t been the case for me, and it hasn’t been the case for many other high achievers.
High confidence does not eliminate imposter syndrome.
While I do experience imposter syndrome less frequently than I did early in my career, it still flares up, especially when I’m stretching myself out of my comfort zone.
Since I push myself to grow a bit more each day — and encourage you to do the same — that means it’s a fairly constant companion.
Here’s a couple of examples of scenarios and thoughts that have run through my head indicating the “Imposter” is here:
- Before giving an important presentation => “Who am I to be giving this presentation? There are people out there who have more expertise than I do.”
- Before a networking event => “I don’t belong here, I’m an introvert.”
- Before an interview => “I’m not sure that I’m qualified for this position.”
- Before a meeting => “I’m only going to speak up if directly asked. No one cares what I have to say.”
- Walking into a meeting +> “I’ll sit in the corner. I’m not important enough to take a seat at the main table, especially next to the client.”
- During a technical discussion => “I’m just going to agree with this new direction because she seems so much smarter than I.”
It’s not at all a coincidence that the things that trigger imposter syndrome are most often things I was not trained to do as an engineer.
For me, some of those things include presentations, making connections with strangers, self-promotion, dealing with conflict, and confrontation.
What I’ve noticed is that more I push my comfort zone and the more I prove to myself that I can do those things that are uncomfortable but cause me to grow, the less I feel imposter syndrome.
To put it another way, I am training my brain to stay in growth-mode by being OK with being a bit uncomfortable.
When I stay in my comfort zone for too long, those feelings of being an imposter actually start to worsen. I waste energy second-guessing myself. That quickly sends me into a spiral of low confidence and feelings of being an imposter.
These days, there are things that used to trigger imposter syndrome that no longer do because I have done them often. Consider what are those things might be for you.
Rarely stepping out of your comfort zone triggers imposter syndrome when you do decide to stretch yourself.
Taking small, slightly uncomfortable steps daily is much more effective in combatting imposter syndrome than taking one big leap into the unknown.
Imposter syndrome is not at all unique to a particular field. You are joining the likes of award-winning novelist Maya Angelou, actress Kate Winslet, comedian Tina Fey, author John Steinbeck, and Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg by acknowledging that you have faced this feeling.
As a fun side-note, there’s even a test you can take to see where you land on the imposter-syndrome scale at http://paulineroseclance.com/impostor_phenomenon.html.
In Model View Culture, a magazine about technology, culture, and diversity, author Cate Huston reflects on her experiences with imposter syndrome in tech culture:
“What we call imposter syndrome often reflects the reality of an environment that tells marginalized groups that we shouldn’t be confident, that our skills aren’t enough, that we won’t succeed-and when we do, our accomplishments won’t even be attributed to us. Yet imposter syndrome is treated as a personal problem to be overcome, a distortion in processing rather than a realistic reflection of the hostility, discrimination, and stereotyping that pervades tech culture.”
So, now that we understand that we aren’t alone, and that many high-achieving women experience imposter syndrome, let’s discuss how we can minimize those feelings.
6 WAYS TO OVERCOME IMPOSTER SYNDROME
According to Clare Josa, author of Ditching Imposter Syndrome, men are more likely to push through imposter syndrome, while women are more likely to give in to self-doubt.
For you, is “giving in” really an option? I don’t think so, not if you want a fulfilling career on your own terms!
Self-doubt festers when we ruminate and worry. Thinking too much actually makes self-doubt, and by extension imposter syndrome, worse.
And while there is no “cure” for imposter syndrome, we can halt that cycle by taking action.
Here are some practical things you can do to help you overcome imposter syndrome:
- Name it.
The next time you are in a situation where you feel awkward and as if you don’t belong, say to yourself, “That’s just my imposter syndrome talking, and it’s a sign that I am a high performer.” Feelings don’t hold as much fear if you can name them and accept them. Repressing this feeling only makes it worse.
2. Talk to others you trust about it.
Discussing how you feel with a trusted mentor or group of peers, it validates the fact that you are not alone, and that others have struggled with the exact same things. Similar #1, discussion in a group reduces the subconscious fears that often drive imposter syndrome.
3. Prepare, prepare, prepare.
When you are going into a situation that you think may trigger imposter syndrome, over-prepare. If, for example, it is a meeting, ask for an advance agenda, who will attend the meeting, and if you are expected to make recommendations during the meeting.
If a networking event triggers you (it did for me for many years), write down a couple of conversation starters in your phone and review prior to the event.
Better yet, ask others if they will be attending and plan to meet up at some point during the event.
One caution as you prepare: Watch out for perfectionism. Unrealistic internal expectations to be perfect can trigger imposter syndrome. Over-prepare, but allow yourself the grace to be “good enough” instead of perfect.
4. Be Curious
Curiosity causes the analytical, problem-solving parts of your brain to engage. It effectively acts as a temporary “off switch” for those feelings of doubt. This makes it a very effective method of halting imposter syndrome in the moment.
You can use the same types of open-ended questions journalists use: Who, What, Where, When, Why, and How.
I’ve watched some younger engineers struggle with speaking up in a group setting. I’ve also seen someone a month out of school ask a “dumb question” that resulting in saving a client thousands of dollars on a project.
Can you guess which one not only able to beat down imposter syndrome but as a result was promoted more quickly? Your unique perspective is valuable regardless of experience level.
5. Take small, slightly uncomfortable daily actions that build confidence.
These don’t necessarily have to be work-related; researchers have found, for example, that challenging yourself physically improves confidence. You can also see my blog on confidence for further suggestions.
Remember: confidence doesn’t eliminate imposter syndrome (there is no “cure”), but it can lessen the frequency at which you experience it.
6. Practice Self-Compassion.
Imposter syndrome is often a result of the impossibly high expectations we set for ourselves.
Forgiving yourself for mistakes and rethinking some of those expectations (see this blog on perfectionism for further discussion), are first steps.
Tagged: imposter syndrome, confidence, women in engineering
I’m Stephanie, an engineer, author, mom, and coach. I help frustrated women in engineering get unstuck in their careers.
This article was originally published at https://www.engineersrising.com on February 27, 2020.
